I have an almost three-year old and a ten-month old, and my partner and I made an early decision not to upload pictures of them online. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc - all are included until at least my kids can give informed consent to do so.
This was pretty easy for us to decide to do, as we already don’t particularly like uploading pictures of ourselves on social media. But I wanted to consider some better reasons that anyone should be swayed by.
One common argument aginst image-sharing is that you are ‘feeding your kids to the algorithm’ if you put them online, i.e., they’ll end up in the pool of data used in generating abusive and exploitative images and videos.
By itself, I never found this particularly convincing.
The fact that material exists is aborhent but a vectorised version of my kid in that dataset doesn’t change whether the material is being generated and causing harm.
However, the images being scraped can also be used more directly against the parents and relatives as identity fraud or some other scam. This is a bigger, real risk that is worth mitigating against by minimising the footprint of information available online to reduce the chance of direct financial and emotional harm.
Another is the need for connection with family and friends. To keep them in the loop. I think this is a noble intention but can be addressed by directly sharing images and videos with people you actually wish to share these experiences with.
Instead, I think you can bring it back to internationally agreed principles of human rights - the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
Article 3.1 states:
In all actions concerning children … the best interests of the child shall be a primary consideration.
This feels uncontroversial. The best interests of the child.
Philosophically, this is about engaging in proxy or preference utilitarianism - maximising happiness and minimising suffering but while having to estimate what will maximise someone else’s welfare while only having limited information from them. This is in large part the philosphical basis of animal welfare for example.
The way children are primarily flaunted on social media is exclusively for the clout of parents or guardians. There is no justifiable explanation that it is in the benefit of the child to have their images and videos plastered online, whether it be their first steps, a birthday party, or just them enjoying a new toy.
By all means, take these pictures and videos and cherish them. Scrapbook with them and share them with friends and family.
Sharing more publically than this though has zero upside for the child and all the potential of downside. To do so is a moral failing.
If we want to be doing the most good we can do, we shouldn’t be oversharing. It is not in their best interest.
